HEY BILL....We have started a collection down at the club to help defray the
funeral costs for you..pls advise the undertakers you have selected...colin
(australia)
>From: "William R. Benson" <Benson@eqe.com>
>To: <mil-veh@mil-veh.org> (Military Vehicles Mailing List)
>Subject: [MV] TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE
>Date: Wed, 30 May 2001 10:22:09 -0700
>
>
>
>TO WOMEN EVERYWHERE FROM A MAN WHO'S HAD ENOUGH!!!
>
>Learn to work the toilet seat. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you
>need
>it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.
>
>If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act
>like
> soap opera guys.
>
>If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask. We refuse to answer.
>
>Don't cut your hair. EVER. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married
>is
>that married women always cut their hair and by then you're stuck with her.
>
>Sometimes, we're not thinking about you. Live with it. And don't ask us
>what we
> ARE thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as
>navel
>lint, the shotgun formation or MVs.
>
>Sunday = Wrench time
>It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. And by the
>way,
> "shopping" is not the same as going to a parts swap meet, and no, we're
>never
>going to think of it that way.
>
>When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
>Really.
>
>You have enough clothes. You have too many shoes.
>
>Crying is blackmail.
>
>Ask for what you want and let's be absolutely clear on this one:
>Subtle hints don't work
>Strong hints don't work
>Really obvious hints don't work. Just fraggin' say it!!!!
>
>We don't know what day it is and never will.
>
>Mark anniversaries on the calendar.
>
>Peeing standing up is far more difficult. We're bound to miss sometimes.
>
>Most guys own three pairs of shoes. What makes you think we'd be any good
>at
>choosing which pair, out of 30, would look good with that dress?
>
>Yes and no are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. Come
>to us
> with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
>Sympathy
>is what your girlfriends are for.
>
>A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
>
>Foreign films are best left to foreigners.
>
>Check your damn oil.
>
>It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. No,
>it
>doesn't matter which quiz.
>
>Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments
>become null and void after 7 days.
>
>If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes
>you
>sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>
>Let us ogle - we're going to anyway - it's genetic.
>
>You can either tell us to do something OR tell us how to do something, but
>not
>both.
>
>Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
>
>ALL men see in 16 colors. Peach is a fruit, not a color.
>
>If it itches, it WILL be scratched. Live with it.
>
>Beer is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
>
>And finally, if we ask what's wrong and you say, "Nothing", we will act
>like
>nothing's wrong.
>By the way, we know you're lying .... it's just not worth the hassle.
>
>Finally, don't EVER say, "You love that damned Army truck more than me!" if
>you
>aren't prepared for the truth!
>
>Here's hoping that the ladies can take a joke,
>
>Bill
>
>
>
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This archive was generated by hypermail 2b29 : Tue Jun 05 2001 - 23:18:41 PDT