From: J.Wiehe (j.wiehe@sympatico.ca)
Date: Tue Dec 24 2002 - 16:09:40 PST
: Fw: Christmas Authorization Order
>
>
>
>
> MEMORANDUM FOR Principal and Special Staff
> SUBJECT: Christmas, type Merry
>
> 1. An official visit by MG Santa (NMI) Claus is expected at this
> headquarters 25 December 2002. The following instructions will be in
> effect and govern the activities of all personnel during the visit.
>
> a. Not a creature will stir without official permission. This will
> include indigenous mice. Special stirring permits for necessary
> administrative actions will be obtained through normal channels. Mice
> stirring permits will be obtained through the Office of the Surgeon
> General, Veterinary Services.
>
> b. Personnel will settle their brains for a long winter nap prior to
> 2200 hours, 24 December 2002. Uniform for the nap will be: Pajamas,
> cotton, light, drowsing, with kerchief, general purpose, camouflage; and
> Cap, camouflage w/ear flaps. Equipment will be drawn from CIF prior to
> 1900 hours, 24 December 2002.
>
> c. Personnel will utilize standard ration sugar plums for visions to
> dance through their heads. This item will be drawn from the servicing
> dining facility.
>
> d. Stockings, wool, cushion sole, will be hung by the chimney with care.
> Necessary safety precautions will be taken to avoid fire hazards caused
> by carelessly hung stockings. Unit safety Officers will submit stocking
> hanging plans to this headquarters prior to 0800 hours, 24 December
> 2002, ATTN: DCSLOG, for approval.
>
> e. At the first sign of clatter from the lawn, all troops will spring
> from their beds to evaluate noise and cause. Immediate action will be
> taken to tear open the shutters and throw open the window sashes.
> ODCSOPS Plan (Saint Nick), Reference SOP No. 3, paragraph 6c, this
> headquarters, 2 February 1998, will be in effect to facilitate shutter
> tearing and sash throwing. Division chiefs will familiarize all
> personnel with procedures and are responsible for ensuring that no
> shutters are torn open nor window sashes thrown open prior to start of
> official clatter.
>
> f. Prior to 2400, 24 December 2002, all personnel will be assigned
> "Wondering Eye" stations. After shutters are thrown open and sashes are
> torn, these stations will be manned.
>
> g. ODCSLOG will assign one each Sleigh, miniature, M-66, and eight (8)
> deer, tiny, type rein, for use of MG Claus' driver who, in accordance
> with current directives and other applicable regulations, must have a
> valid SF 56 properly annotated by Driver Testing; be authorized rooftop
> parking and be able to shout:
> "On Dasher, on Dancer, on Prancer and Vixen,
> Up Comet, up Cupid, on Donner and Blitzen."
>
> 2. MG Claus will enter quarters through standard chimneys. All units
> without chimneys will draw Chimney Simulator, M-6, for use during
> ceremonies. Chimney simulator units will be requested on Engineer Job
> Order Request Form submitted to the Furniture Warehouse prior to 19
> December 2002, and issued on DA Form 3161, Request for Issue or Turn-in.
>
> 3. Personnel will be rehearsed on shouting "Merry Christmas to all and
> to all a good night." This shout will be given on termination of General
> Claus' visit. Uniformity of shouting is the responsibility of division
> chiefs.
>
> /signed/
> CHRISTOPHER K. RINGLE
> Colonel, USA
> OIC, Special Services
> Distribution: Everybody Who Still Believes
>
> Glossary
> NMI - No Middle Initial
> DCSLOG - Deputy Chief of Staff, Logistics
> ODCSOPS - Officer of the Deputy Chief of Staff, Operations
> SOP - Standard Operating Procedure
> MG - Major General
> SF - Special Form
> DA - Department of the Army
>
> Jim Wiehe , VA3JHW
> mail to : j.wiehe@sympatico.ca
>
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