ebay translations -humor

From: Patrick Jankowiak (eccm@swbell.net)
Date: Sat Dec 28 2002 - 13:38:38 PST


Note -this is very cynical and poor humor only, and has
nothing to do with any ebay items, although I did steal some
text here and there (fair use -parody).

Sometimes we need a little help translating ebay auction
item text. EAIT (Ebay auction item text) is an english-like
language, but we should be aware that there are some
differences in the meaning of the text, based upon the
principle of "reverse-phrase-al cognition inversion".
Further adding to the confusion is that EAIT is intermixed
freely with english. The text usually starts off with
english text, and so we need to know how to spot the EAIT as
it usually follows. Here are some examples:

====

This is a (general description, model number, included
accesories etc..)
(english text)

This is a very early model with the door on the back rather
than on the front.
(EAIT translation: this is an obsoleted version which has
various engineering design problems")

My name is Bill, and thanks for taking the time to look. I
have a...
(EAIT translation: "It's ok, you can trust me that it works
perfectly, even though it is sold as-is")

There are two cracks in the case about 1/2" and 1 1/2" long
which render it not water-tight but don't affect its
operation.
(EAIT translation: "this thing has been dropped off the back
of a humvee at 40 MPH")

Here is an old radio of unknown manufacturer. It does not
have the plug at the end of the power cord so it is being
sold as untested.
(EAIT translation: "Smoke came billowing out of it when I
plugged it in, so I cut off the plug and am pretending I
never tested it")

I do not know how to repair one of these and learned my
lesson a few months back about plugging in an old radio
without first giving it a checkover.
(EAIT translation: "I learned my lesson about electricity
and fire when I hooked this up a few months ago. Now that I
am out of the hospital, I am going to sell it!"

When I checked this radio, it worked.. but it is sold as is
because it is surplus.
(EAIT translation: "it sort of lit up and didn't smoke, so I
shut it off in a hurry, I don't want to get stuck with it")

The battery needs recharging.
(EAIT translation: "the battery is no good and replacements
are very expensive")

There is a connector with two pins to connect to a 24vdc
power source to operate or charge the internal battery.
(english text)

Found in a chicken coop and smells like it.
(english text)

Moderate corrosion, and it's full of old tubes and parts.
(EAIT translation: "Caught it while fishing for catfish in
Lake Ray Hubbard")

A beautiful Moser (attribution) box in cobalt blue.
(EAIT translation: "Not a Moser, but looks like one to some
people")

========
Let's hope that villain Al Queta doesn't master this
language!
ok I do have a bad attitude!



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