From: Ron (rojoha@comcast.net)
Date: Wed Jun 16 2004 - 08:23:26 PDT
Hmmmm.... I guess a request for 'opinions' regarding what option(s) would
make the most economic vs. common sense/enjoyment return is a loaded
question.
It probably requires the type of in depth, multi man hour, pencil
pushing, bean counting study that would cost a working stiff a small
fortune. But wait!!! We're talking the US Govt. to whom this type of study
is handed off to 137 folks in some TACOM sub basement, because they are
there! Where hundreds of vehicles are studied, abused, analized and results
recorded in excrutiating detail, and then buried under following, critical
studies, never to see the light of day, unless a special (not quite the
short school bus) type of person gets a hint of the scent..... A Dog who CAN
Hunt!
Only one way to handle this little conundrum......(Work with me on this
folks!):
Suddenly, off on a distant cloud in the dark of night is seen a
blinding, pure white light, forming the the capital letters "M V" and a "?"
(actually some thing more like this... MV ? ) blinking on and off every
three seconds... from deep in a former Atlas Missle base located somewhere
below the Mason Dixon line comes a low rumbling sound...slowly a launch
elevator rises to the surface, but instead of a launch pad with missile on
it is a large, gray painted, steel, government issue four drawer file
cabinet rocking, bouncing gently, almost eagerly, on the elevator. Banging,
then mild cursing can be heard coming from the file cabinet as the cabinets
movements become more agitated, almost violent! Then, before the eye can
register the fact, the bottom drawer flashes open and a figure starts to
uncoil slowly, jerkily from inside the draw.
Finally our hero stands tall and proud in his OD colored Dr. Dentons,
one hand jauntily placed on his aching back, the other hand clutching an R.
Lee Ermey talking Action Figure to his breast. Embroided across the back of
his Dentons in white stencil type is the phrase "Friends DON'T Let Friends
Drive Pre M Series" and over the left breast is "You Got Questions? I Can
Find the Answers!!!!". Centered on his chest (and stretched over his
slightly protudeing, just past his prime, belly) is a caracture type cartoon
symbol of an M44 series cargo truck sitting on its tailgate on a three
legged stool, hunched over a field desk with a typewriter on it, with the
front tires stretched into arms and white gloved hands, madly slashing away
at the keys. The windshields are morphed into eyes (aka "Who Shot Roger
Rabbit" taxi eyes), with the grille transformed into teeth clamped onto a
cigar, sorta, kinda like the Deuces and Sgt. Half Staff in old PS magazines
. From the vertical stack comes a plume of black smoke, like the Deuce
produces under heavy load at high speed, indicating prodigious power being
applied to the problem being solved on the paper in the typerwriter.
Yes, bunkies, it is HE....The Master himself.... The M Series
Detective of arcane knowledge and little known triva. The One, the Only.....
(drum roll increases in speed and volume, ending with a tremendous cymbal
crash!!) DAVID DOYLE!!!
Leaping to answer a ringing E8 Field Phone attached to a nearby tree, he
listens carefully, almost painfully, with a knitted brow, to the almost
incomprehensible Yankee on the other end of the line. The Yankee appears to
be speaking an almost understandable form of American, but it doesn't have
'ya'lls' and other Americanisms DD is farmiliar with, so he must concentrate
on every word the Yankee speaks, some times moving his lips silently as he
repeats the strange words, searching for the Yankees meaning. Finally, he
understands what the Yankee is asking. DD nods gravely and hangs up, slowly
shaking his head from side to side. Looks like Joe Young has got his phone
hooked up again, thinks DD. Damn....He's almost as hard to understand as
that guy up in Cow Hampshire, Dr. Deuce.
TheYankee was calling to see if DD had seen the post on the MV List from
that idiot Ron (zo) about the benifits of A.P.s products and wondering if DD
was gonna take the bait? Hmmmmmmm....
DD walks over to his Franklin 1000 computer with it's state of the art
Corvus 10 MB hard drive and boots up the system. Time to see what the fuss
is all about. Cranking the E8, he asks Martha to hook him up to the free
JUNO accsess number in Pixly, and logs on to the Skylee List. Stroking his
chin gently, deep in thought, he stares at the green Acer monochrome
monitor. (Ya'll gotta understand, DD has been havin' some S.O. troubles of
late, and he is a squatter in the old missile base. The Dentons, Franklin
and the E8 are all he's got left. BAD, BAD S.O.)
Now old DD ain't got the common sense of coon dog on the scent of a 4
day old pot of chitlins when woken up in the middle of the night, so he
dives right into this conundrm and comes up with......
How Bout it DD?
Ya'll got Game?
Did the DoD ever do cost benefit studies on front end wear and tear
versus the cost of Lock Out Hubs on M44s. How about stress
reduction/physical benefits on drivers if aftermarket PS kits are added to
the M44 series fleet? Maybe mentioned in the studies justifying the SS
(abomination) trucks or M35A3s produced to fill the gap between the M44 and
the SS turds?
Inquiring minds want to know......
TTFN, Ron (zo)
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