From: J.Wiehe (j.wiehe@sympatico.ca)
Date: Sun Nov 06 2005 - 11:09:49 PST
Wasn't this first exposed on Coast to Coast with George Norry & Art Bell ?
Jim Wiehe
j.wiehe@sympatico.ca
----- Original Message -----
From: "Ron" <rojoha@adelphia.net>
To: "Military Vehicles Mailing List" <mil-veh@mil-veh.org>
Sent: Sunday, November 06, 2005 1:21 PM
Subject: Re: [MV] Fw: OT-Swift Boat Veteran Supports U.S. Senate Candidate v. Socialist Bernie Sanders
> Be careful what you ask for APB....
>
>
> The Swift Boat Veterans stated that Kerry carried 39 Jerry cans filled
> with Aervoe semi gloss OD on his SEA Yacht Club vessel that he distributed
> free of charge to any ARVN unit he came upon. The ARVN units used this paint
> on their US supplied equipment because they felt that shiny paint was more
> important than body counts. However, due to intense sun shine in those
> parts, the OD green Aervoe changed to a fluorescent orange in 20 days or
> less, but still stayed semi-shiny. When Uncle Ho's minions wandered south,
> they found it very helpful to have the capitalist Yankee dogs former
> equipment easily observable.
> Another little known Swift Boat Veterans revelation is that Aervoe was
> started by Jane Fonda and Dan B. Rather under a convoluted juxtaposition of
> their names, Jane Rather B. Fondadan. William Jefferson Clinton was employed
> by Aervoe as a traveling salesman in 1977-1979 and sold large amounts of the
> Aervoe Semi Gloss OD (for Oh, Damn!, it's turned orange again!) to 2nd Lt.
> Oliver North, USMC procurement officer for the Black Door Supplies and
> Contingency Planning Command (BDSCPC) attached to the Central Intelligence
> Agency. When the press started to tumble to this connection, BDSCPC was
> renamed Basic (issue) Deployment Supplies and Planning (eventual) Command
> (BiDSPeC) and now Capt.. Ollie was made responsible for planning and
> purchasing for future war supplies, with an intended use of 25 years out at
> a minimum.
> However, Mr. W.J. Clinton was still working the paint circuit and
> convinced Ollie to purchase huge quantities of Aerovoe's new 383 CARC
> coating simulator by plying him with a strangely scented brand of imported
> cigars from Nicaragua called "Los puros que Huelen quieren el Atún pero el
> sabor de coño abrasador". It was not for a couple of years that Ollie
> learned enough Spanish to find out what made these cigars so special at
> which time he stopped buying them and vowed to teach them Nicaraguans a
> lesson they would never forget. Unfortunately, it was not discovered quite
> quickly enough that the Aervoe turned a sickly looking salmon color within
> 30 minutes of application. So it was arranged that all 1,900,000 cases were
> poured off into a mix of surplus American, German, British and Canadian WWII
> fuel containers and hustled into warehouses in the Aleutian Islands where it
> would hopefully be forgotten.
> But kismet was still following the Clinton/Rather/Fonda troika. When
> George H. called the '91' Persian Gulf Invitational Games to order, it was
> observed that there was insufficient amounts of Sand Tan paint in the US
> Governments ware house inventory to coat all those US owned green machines
> being dumped in the Dessert Kingdoms of the Committee to Kick Saddams Butt
> and Get Back Our Stolen Toilets and Oil Wells. These green machines were at
> a distinct disadvantage sitting on the hot sand absorbing sunshine units and
> simulating pizza ovens because the crews refused to stay inside them. So the
> US was forced to look for sources of 'sandy' colored paint from sources
> external to the normal US supply chain.
> It seems that old Ollie had seen a chance to clean up his past
> purchasing mistakes AND stick it to the frogs for not letting us fly F111s
> over their country while bombing other folks. While he was a national
> security advisor to Rocking Ronnie, he had arranged to transfer all
> 1,900,000 cases of his Jerry can contained Aervoe 383 CARC coating simulator
> to the French Army to paint their home country based tanks in exchange for
> 80 kilos of goose liver and an unrated VHS copy of Barbarella. Ollie figured
> that we were gonna hafta kick the feces out of the frogs eventually, and the
> 'zoomies' would probably appreciate shooting at pink tanks in a woodland
> setting.
> The Armee da Froggae however felt that the pink of the Aervoe 383 CARC
> coating simulator clashed with the puce of the Tu-Tus worn by the Fermoir
> Corps of Les Ingénieurs des Assembleurs de Pont. And this clashing of colors
> at a combat crossing of a river would cause untold morale problems of the
> Armoured Corps. So the Aervoe was placed in storage. And a few years later,
> a canny frog of Jewish parentage read of the BiDSPeC request for sandy
> colored paint, remembered all those Jerry cans filled with what the
> Divisione of Surplusey Froggae Militre called GOGBTPE (Goes on Green But
> Turns Pink, Eh) coating and thinks, "Merde, I can make a killing if I can
> scrape up a few francs and sell this crap to the Amis!" So he formed
> company, bought the paint, sold it to the US minus the Jerry cans, sold the
> Gerry cans to surplus dealers all over Europe and made a killing. While
> pouring off the paint, he discovered a shipping document from the original
> Aervoe order stating that the BiDSPeC POC was a Capt.. North and sold by an
> Aervoe Salesman Named W.J. Clinton.
> A couple of years later, while picking up the "L'ordre du Fromage Vilain
> pour les Grenouilles Génétiquement Impures" at a state dinner in Paris, he
> was talking to the wife of the new American President and mentioned in
> passing of the similarity of the name of her husband and the name of the
> paint salesman on his windfall surplus buy. Hillary was astonished at this
> Karma type coincidence that was right out the late 60's and took him over to
> meet his indirect benefactor. Slick Willy said he would be most appreciative
> if the gentleman would keep his knowledge of Willie's previous experiences
> of 'covering up' things to himself, and asked if maybe he could scratch the
> gentleman's back, 'so to speak'. The gentleman said "Sure, Can ya give me
> some pointers of getting on the inside track of buying US Military Surplus?"
> And Hillary jumped in and said, "if ya keep your yap shut about the paint,
> SW can do better than that, Right, SW?" And SW said, "You , Betcha,
> Monsieur...uh, I'm sorry, I didn't catch your name?" And the frog replied,
> "Latham, Levy Latham and my company is called 'La Liquidation de Fèces de
> Gouvernement'....."
> And now you know the rest of the story......
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