Re: A Moron Poem re Albert Lion

From: Darrell Ramsell (daram@comcast.net)
Date: Fri Apr 07 2006 - 14:18:35 PDT


Alright gents, I think you've pummeled the landscape well enough on this.
It's starting to look like the moon. It's time to let those barrels cool.

----- Original Message -----
From: "aussierob2" <aussierob2@odyssey.net>
To: "Military Vehicles Mailing List" <mil-veh@mil-veh.org>
Sent: Friday, April 07, 2006 5:18 AM
Subject: [MV] A Moron Poem re Albert Lion

> Rumor has gotten to me about Albert
> I believe he comes from England and as a boy
> Has had a most unfortunate tragic childhood.
>
> Here is the sad, sad poem written in his original English brogue.
>
> ALBERT - THE LYON
> There's a famous seaside place called Blackpool
> That's noted for fresh air and fun
> And Mr. and Mrs. Ramsbottom
> Went there with young Albert, their son.
>
> A fine little lad were young Albert,
> All dressed in his best, quite a swell.
> He'd a stick with an 'horse's 'head 'handle;
> The finest that Woolworth's could sell.
>
> They didn't think much to the ocean,
> The waves they were piddlin' and small.
> There were no wrecks and nobody drownded,
> 'Fact, nothin' to laugh at ...at all!
>
> So, seeking for further amusement,
> They paid, and went into the zoo,
> Where they'd lyons and tigers and camels
> And cold ale and sandwiches, too.
>
> There were one great big lion called Wallace
> Whose nose was all covered with scars;
> He lay in a som-no-lent posture
> With the side of 'is face on the bars.
>
> Now Albert 'ad 'eard about lions-
> 'Ow they was ferocious and wild;
> To see a lion lyin' so peaceful
> Just didn't seem right to the child.
>
> So straightway the brave little feller,
> Not showin' a morsel of fear,
> Took 'is stick with the 'orse's 'ead 'andle
> And stuck it in Wallace's ear.
>
> You could see that the lion din't like it,
> For givin' a kind of a roll,
> 'E pulled Albert inside the cage with 'im
> And swallered the little lad - 'ole!
>
> Now Mother 'ad seen this occurrence,
> And not knowin' what to do next,
> She 'ollered "Look, dam lion's et my Albert!"
> An' Father said "Ee, I am vexed."
>
> They complained to an animal keeper
> Who said "My, wot a nasty mis'ap;
> Are you sure it's your boy 'e's eaten?"
> Pa said, "Am I sure? There's 'is cap!"
>
> The manager 'ad to be sent for;
> 'E came and 'e said "Wot's to-do?"
> Ma said "Yon lion's et my Albert,
> And 'im in 'is Sunday clothes, too!"
>
> Father said "Right's right, young feller-
> I think it's a shame and a sin
> To 'ave our son et by a lion
> And after we paid to come in."
>
> The manager wanted no trouble;
> He took out his purse right away,
> Sayin' "'Ow much to settle the matter?"
> Pa said "Wot do you usually pay?"
>
> But Mother 'ad turned a bit awkward
> When she saw where 'er Albert 'ad gone.
> She said "No, someone's got to be summonsed!"
> So that was decided upon.
>
> And off they all went to p'lice station
> In front of a Magistrate chap;
> They told what 'ad 'appened to Albert
> And proved it by showing 'is cap.
>
> The Magistrate gave 'is opinion
> That no one was really to blame,
> And 'e said that 'e 'oped the Ramsbottoms
> Would 'ave further sons to their name.
>
> At that Mother got proper blazin':
> "And thank you, sir, kindly," said she-
> "Wot, spend all our lives raisin' children
> To feed bloody lions... Not me!"
>
> As I said this may be only a rumor. re Albert L.
> Aussie Robb upstate NY area
> A few early Jeeps Mb an Mz - early CJ with the war tub.
> Two Willys are registered on the road.
>
>
>
>
>
>
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