From: Steve Grammont (islander@midmaine.com)
Date: Mon Feb 10 2003 - 13:38:37 PST
Funny one. I got a variant of this years back but it was for "Lockheed"
and it was "actually used" :-) Someone has taken it and added some more
timely stuff to it. Just another example of how long a life this stuff
has with a bit of modification.
Steve
>This was allegedly posted very briefly on the
>McDonnell Douglas Website by an employee there who
>obviously has a sense of humor. The company, of
>course, does not have a sense of humor, and made the
>web department take it down immediately (for once, the
>'IMPORTANT' note at the end is worth a read too....BE
>SURE TO READ IT ALL THE WAY TO THE END!)
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>
> Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas
>military aircraft. In order to protect your new
>investment, please take a few moments to fill out the
>warranty registration card below. Answering the survey
>questions is not required, but the information will
>help us to develop new products that best meet your
>needs and desires.
>
> 1. Title
>
> [_] Mr. [_] Mrs. [_] Ms. [_] Miss [_] Lt. [_] Gen.
>[_] Comrade [_] Classified [_] Other
>
> First Name:
>............................................ Initial:
>........ Last
>Name:..............................................
>Password: .............................. (max. 8 char)
>Code
>Name:..............................................
>Latitude-Longitude-Altitude: ......................
>
> 2. Which model of aircraft did you purchase?
>
> [_] F-14 Tomcat [_] F-15 Eagle [_] F-16 Falcon [_]
>F-117A Stealth [_] Classified
>
> 3. Date of purchase (Year/Month/Day):
>......../......./......
>
> 4. Serial Number:
>........................................
>
> 5. Please indicate where this product was purchased:
>
>
> [_] Received as gift / aid package [_] Catalogue /
>showroom [_] Independent arms broker
>
> [_] Mail order [_] Discount store [_] Government
>surplus [_] Classified
>
> 6. Please indicate how you became aware of the
>McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
>
> [_] Heard loud noise, looked up [_] Store display
>[_] Espionage [_] Recommended by friend / relative /
>ally [_] Political lobbying by manufacturer [_] Was
>attacked by one
>
> 7. Please indicate the three (3) factors that most
>influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell
>Douglas product:
>
> [_] Style / appearance [_] Speed / maneuverability
>[_] Price / value [_] Comfort / convenience [_]
>Kickback / bribe [_] Recommended by salesperson [_]
>McDonnell Douglas reputation [_] Advanced Weapons
>Systems [_] Backroom politics [_] Negative experience
>opposing one in combat
>
> 8. Please indicate the location(s) where this
>product will be used:
>
> [_] North America [_] Iraq [_] Iraq [_] Aircraft
>carrier [_] Iraq [_] Europe [_] Iraq [_] Middle East
>(not Iraq) [_] Iraq [_] Africa [_] Iraq [_] Asia / Far
>East [_] Iraq [_] Misc. Third World countries [_] Iraq
>[_] Classified [_] Iraq
>
>
> 9. Please indicate the products that you currently
>own or intend to purchase in the near future:
>
> [_] Color TV [_] VCR [_] ICBM [_] Killer Satellite
>[_] Satellite Killer [_] CD Player [_] Air-to-Air
>Missile [_] Space Shuttle [_] Home Computer [_]
>Nuclear Weapon
>
> 10. How would you describe yourself or your
>organization? (Indicate all that apply:)
>
> [_] Communist / Socialist [_] Terrorist [_] Crazed
>[_] Neutral [_] Democratic [_] Dictatorship [_]
>Corrupt [_] Primitive / Tribal
>
> 11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas
>product?
>
> [_] Deficit spending [_] Cash [_] Suitcases of
>cocaine [_] Oil revenues [_] Personal check [_] Credit
>card [_] Ransom money [_] Traveler's check
>
> 12. Your occupation:
>
> [_] Homemaker [_] Sales / marketing [_]
>Revolutionary [_] Clerical [_] Mercenary [_] Tyrant
>[_] Middle management [_] Eccentric billionaire [_]
>Defense Minister / General [_] Retired [_] Student
>
> 13. To help us better understand our customers,
>please indicate the interests and activities in which
>you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular
>basis:
>
> [_] Golf [_] Boating / sailing [_] Sabotage [_]
>Running / jogging [_] Propaganda / misinformation [_]
>Destabilization / overthrow [_] Default on loans [_]
>Gardening [_] Crafts [_] Black market / smuggling [_]
>Collectibles / collections [_] Watching sports on TV
>[_] Wines [_] Interrogation / torture [_] Household
>pets [_] Crushing rebellions [_] Espionage /
>reconnaissance [_] Fashion clothing [_] Border
>disputes [_] Mutually Assured Destruction
>
> Thank you for taking the time to fill out this
>questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market
>studies that will help McDonnell Douglas serve you
>better in the future - as well as allowing you to
>receive mailings and special offers from other
>companies, governments, extremist groups, and
>mysterious consortia. As a bonus for responding to
>this survey, you will be registered to win a brand new
>F-117A in our Desert Thunder Sweepstakes!
>
> Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes?
>Please write to: McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION,
>Marketing Department, Military Aerospace Division
>
> IMPORTANT: This email is intended for the use of the
>individual addressee(s) named above and may contain
>information that is confidential privileged or
>unsuitable for overly sensitive persons with low
>self-esteem, no sense of humor, or irrational
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>
> Unless the word absquatulation has been used in its
>correct context somewhere other than in this warning,
>it does not have any legal or grammatical use and may
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>
> Those of you with an overwhelming fear of the
>unknown will be gratified to learn that there is no
>hidden message revealed by reading this warning
>backwards, so just ignore that Alert Notice from
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>
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> Sure, you can TRUST the Gov't. Ask any Indian.
>
>
>=====
>
>
>
>
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This archive was generated by hypermail 2.1.4 : Wed Apr 23 2003 - 13:25:27 PDT