Re: [MV] King's English I Aint

From: J. Wiehe (j.wiehe@sympatico.ca)
Date: Fri Jul 11 2003 - 09:30:30 PDT


You'll just love this then:

      The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will
be the official language of the European Union rather German, which was the other .
possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan
to be known as " Euro-English ".

     In the first year, 's' will replace the soft 'c'. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants
jump with joy. The hard 'c' will be dropped in favour of the 'k'. This should klear up any
konfusion and keyboards kan have one less letter.

     There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome
'ph' will be replased with the letter 'f'. This will make words like 'fotograf' 20 % shorter!

     In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the
stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the
removal of double leters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent 'e' in the languag is disgrasful and it
should go away.

     By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing 'th' with 'z' and 'w'
wiz 'v'. During ze fifz year ze unesesary 'o' kan be droped from vords kontaining 'ou'
and similar changes vud of kurs be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters. After ze fifz
yer ve vil hav a rali sensibl ritn styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evriun vil
find it ezi tu undrstand ech ozer.

     Zen Z Drem Vil Finali Kum Tru !!!
         
  
Jim Wiehe VA3JHW
j.wiehe@sympatico.ca
----- Original Message -----
From: "Fred H. Schlesinger" <fred@schlesingers.net>
To: "Military Vehicles Mailing List" <mil-veh@mil-veh.org>
Sent: Friday, July 11, 2003 09:21
Subject: [MV] King's English I Aint

> wush i kud figr ut sum o des psts ezer. und gvs me spllcheker u hdache.
>
>
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